Love Without Consequence

When we look into lost eyes,
there is a fear of losing our own sight,
but if in those eyes you can bring life,
you have but saved a thousand times.

If you have seen right in,
and love without consequences thinking,
the inner dread and mess not withstanding,
you have not only won a heart, but saved it from dying.

The world may not understand the cry,
exploit the pain and have questions like, why?
The world and its understanding,
its reasons and excuses, like muddy trails leave behind.

When the end time will prove
the work of your heart, whether gold or soot,
a little box and the lovers hand he will hold,
while the naysayers and detractors comments are left out in the cold.

On the long road of forever, forever he will walk,
and the good God's Grace and love till eternity will stalk.
Where once lost eyes and dented smiles freakishly glowed,
now radiance and brilliant light flows.

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Elliot's Song I - Anhara

I hope you live and always love
I hope you have and never want
I hope you smile and it never fades
and i do hope you make it all the way

I hope you can touch and be the one
I hope you can feel and be affected
i hope you can see and sense the feeling
and I hope hate doesnt engulf your being

I hope the end is further than you think
I hope this now is still the beginning
I hope its never late to reverse
and i do hope its never too early to run

I hope your dreams all come true
I hope that nothings too difficult for you
I hope in all strong you will stand
and I hope in weakness you will hold my hand

I hope happiness remains your best friend
I hope that hatred always stays in the other end
I hope blessings is all that you recieve
and I do hope its never too much to give

I hope the sun always shines on you
I hope none stay aloof from you
I hope today will be your day
and i do hope tomorrow will bring an even brighter ray.

I hope that in everything you succeed
I hope that in nothing you have to plead
I hope in life you will always stay ahead
and I do hope in everything I will always be your friend

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Thorns & Thistles

I roared through the open
and devoured the mighty mountains
Ran through the vast empty
And made the weak, mighty

Set the example, a bar to be lifted,
Made the haughty fall, with humility unbending.
Praise of a thousand, but my heart still alone,
the abyss of emotions uncontrolled.

To live maybe a tragedy and to die a distant pain,
if death overcomes me, would love still be my gain.
My grace is wasted and path an empty plan,
the road lined with dazzle are broken mirrors, blood stains.

My heart coils up trying to stifle the hate,
but its much stronger, more powerful, supremely great.
When love pours down, hate swallows it whole,
leaves me there struggling, beaten and cold.

My time of redemption may not be visible
but there stands one who will make this possible.
In a vineyard of hope and beaches of love
My true victory will be found in eyes of the one above.

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The Seeker

A bleak day starts with the remaining shadows
it ends with people frowning furrows
in bundles of human sorrow and lost ambition
he reaps their broken souls, his daily tradition

they try to break free and climb high
he pulls them down back into the night
they scratch and fight, lose their lives
he breathes their death, collects their cry

till when he is tired and desires cravings new
he leaves the willing, lets go a luck few
they scramble away and reach for day
in the comfort of their lives to the lowly they wave

they forget the seeker, his dark death nest
they live in their day in happiness and rest
but the seeker doesn't forget or let anyone go
he makes them fall harder, much nasty reserved blows

the seeker now stalks them waiting for the shadows
they flirt with the fine line and tip into his claws
he drags them down into the narrow pit of origin
they stare at the day the faint light vanishing

is it better then to live in the shadows and live in fright
or that moment of freedom, short lived still excites
but to each his answer in time will be shown
if only the seeker of his works tired will grow
 

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The Road and the Crown

And i set out on the road
that looks like that of hope,
to halfway realize its lined with
bitterness and envy, pain and death
hate and mystery, blood wealth.
To make my own i have lived so far,
seen loveless souls drive life's car.
At a young age tired and distraught
of the people and places and humanity lost
to see the innocent get choked upon.
If there was a remedy i would have tried
helped the innocent walk, maybe fly.
But then in their cause i went down,
so hard, was difficult to find my own.
And now that road looks empty again,
with someone else trying to make their way.
I call after them and warn them loud
but they seem dazzled by the fake crown.
As i watch them disappear in the distance,
some falling halfway, the others further down,
no one completes the road or wears that crown
in flashes of lights and tinted green shades
with mirrors lying while their beauty fades.
I ponder once again on their cause
and this i realize is not my war.
Its a war of the ages, of power so cruel,
a war to prove, to stamp their rule.
Seeing this i set my sights on that road again,
with will as my companion and
fate my final destination.
As i walk i pass the fallen,
their twisted hands, their broken legs
their lifeless eyes, their empty souls.
I still continue on that road now feeling faint
all around i here their voices quake.
They warn me, as i had them before
and watch me a little further than them go.
I keep my lane and walk way ahead,
not giving in, not heeding the crowd.
As i look ahead the beautiful crown I see
just to realize this place i had already been.
I look around and at the end of the road i stand,
it was the same place where, I, my journey began.

The Lord of the Rascals

As i think about your great love
your bountiful mercy and grace from above,
I am amazed by your works
and your assessment of mankind's worth.

For I know myself, the scum I am,
not worthy of your love, let alone your death.
But still that one act nullified me, washed my sins,
breathed new life in the old me, set me free.

As i read your story, the years you put,
though everything is yours in patience you looked
upon man and his deeds, his actions frivolous,
his soul for sale to the outcast so dangerous.

Yet from amongst the worst you chose,
your truth, gracefully to the world expose.
Jacob, David, Peter and Paul,
had no clue what was in store at all.

If we think about the rational, your actions are foolish
but then again rationale doesn't understand gracefulness.
We are but just a product of your love,
not intelligent, eloquent or talented above.

When one went to kill to cover up his sin,
easily you could have sworn and killed him, all his kin.
But still when you saw him at his worst on his knees,
you restored his dignity, kingdom, priesthood and peace.

And now as we read about David and his exploits
what strikes us is not his looks, his power or his big slays,
but your love and anointing that strongly in him flowed.
And to think you have promised us even more.

All of history proclaims your love aloud
even nature echoes praises of you life long.
We are but just a tiny dot on your grand masterpiece,
Jesus' love has brought us from absolutely nothing to significance.

When i think of my life, my sin, my arrogance,
in shame i hide my face from the prince.
But then as your love in me bought a change,
i can do nothing but give you all my praise.

What you see no man can comprehend,
the crookedest of all, your grace and love has mend,
and when i look back in HIStory
i realize your love abounds for all, even rascals like me.

The Other Guy

She wonders why the days wont end
and where have the nights disappeared again.
She thinks about his pretty smile,
his absence that has left her fragile.

He looks out his window, disappointed again,
she wont come back and walk in the rain.
He looks at her picture and wonders why,
they didn't talk about this other guy.

She stares at the letters her inbox full,
the words mesmerizing, his love's pull.
And then she thinks about how it all went down,
wrestling with herself she leaves the town.

He waits for her reply for something to give,
maybe without her he would now have to live.
Of life in the coming days he didn't know,
maybe time in its grace would itself show.

The baby now left desolate somewhere unknown,
cries for someone to show him a home.
Where their one mistake will cost him his life,
could he still make it through this alive.

He wonders whether this some other way could be dealt,
the little guy and she happy he could have kept.
But society and they wouldn't have accepted,
in a way their fate long decided.

She sits alone in a car now crying,
what is the point of these emotions now hiding.
She rides back to the steps where the other guy lay,
reaching for him a prayer of forgiveness she prays.

He watches the sun sink deep into the sea,
wonders whether their love still can be.
He hurries past the crowds the people accusing,
society and their opinions in the closet left hanging.

James and Delilah hold lil Paul in their arms,
their anguish and fear now become calm.
For the first time lil Paul opens his brown eyes,
to see the world in true love shine.

Anhara's Song

And I look into the distance
I see her twinkling brow
The depth of a hundred seas
The waves of close sorrows
In the distance I find
A strength so profound
My heart it slows
For a moment she looks
At me and a wave of her sorrow passes on
In the distance of her being
I drown with that sorrow
She watches me quietly
With amusing eyes
Twinkling like the starry night
In her gaze once again I see
The depth of a hundred seas
Her sorrow slowly washes off
Leaving me emptier than before
The light heartedness is but just spaces
She filled up with the waves.
Into the distance again I see
Just spaces of me

Anhara's Song

And I look into the distance
I see her twinkling brow
The depth of a hundred seas
The waves of close sorrows
In the distance I find
A strength so profound
My heart it slows
For a moment she looks
At me and a wave of her sorrow passes on
In the distance of her being
I drown with that sorrow
She watches me quietly
With amusing eyes
Twinkling like the starry night
In her gaze once again I see
The depth of a hundred seas
Her sorrow slowly washes off
Leaving me emptier than before
The light heartedness is but just spaces
She filled up with the waves.
Into the distance again I see
Just spaces of me

Comfortable Silences

So we sit there
not talking about anything
watching the world pass by.

You look in my eyes and are not afraid
to make my pain your own
understanding the vulnerability you see in my broken soul

I tried a few times, to bear it all
within me inside
but not for Long

You come and you see
just sit there and hold me
my soul lets go

And at that very moment
i feel a release, a withdrawal deep within,
of sorrow from my soul

Sometimes words mask the pain,
the emotion inside
the true feelings very few can unhide

No need for a mask
or sugar coated superlatives
just room for our silences to slowly unwind

Sometimes a whole sentence
a description enormous
cannot capture the depth of your emotions inside

Just sitting in your company
listening to you breathe
i feel a calm, like, love's aura embracing me

Many may speak, eloquence and sense
sometimes what we need is just an understanding friend
to listen and touch, hold and comfort.

The greatest distance, they say, is the distance between two hearts
what when the destinations are broken?
the road laden with pain

What you give me, Friend
is a reason to believe
to face it all with ease

We have traveled the distances
marked our journeys with victory and slain
attacks of pain unspoken of

And now when i look deep into your eyes
all i see is joy and
companionship none can define.

Now as the day dawns
we sit there, satisfied and free,
comfortable in our silence

Dark Light

Stagnant thoughts of the mind on overdrive

Wondering whether spirituality is truly divine
Sailing the seas of thoughts uncaught
Brilliance of dark light shining forth.

A flower grows in a pot well attended
So does a weed in a gutter unplanted
Foxes and rabbits both hide in holes dry
One a coward the other valiant tough

The question unanswered remains a question
The problem solved still remains a problem
The focus of attention is divided to and fro
Brilliance of dark light still shining forth

The drunk and the pure both go under
Flowing and living in the same murky river
A life of worth or a life of gain
Anyways no one has escaped this pain

Boats or yachts they sail the same river
Some lost in it forever
True love they say is difficult to find
What about the ones you have left behind

Random thoughts flow in patterns incoherent
And settle on the lake now so stagnant
The gentle release of the soul begins
What my friend is your life's winnings

Have You Ever

have you ever looked into blank eyes
staring at the deep void
wondering whether love can heal
or the deep abyss of sadness it can steal
just for a moment bringing life

have you ever looked at something desolate
so dry and unoccupied
it would rob you of your deepest desire
your desire to dream,
maybe, even, your desire to be

have you ever loved someone
so much that you fear making them cry,
you fear that the feeling would just fade
wanting to fight against the odds
just to hold on and make it forever yours

have you ever seen pain in
someone's once pretty smile
the very joy that it would bring
now crumbling
under love's lost strain

have you ever lived a lie
been something for someone
or maybe somebody for everybody
just so that they could smile
forget their pain for a while

have you ever waited for that moment
when all you wanted
is right within your reach
to see it all just get distant again
losing grasp on what is rightfully yours

Memories

And my days are spent in memories of you
Trying to find whether my feelings were untrue
This painful slide to which my heart says stop
Wishing it was never in love with the queen of hearts

The problem arose when you said those words
With friendship things grew from mine to ours
The world was empty without you
Deepest of joys I tried my best to give you

The sails were high, and the waters were smooth
It seemed like a perfect romantic coup
Our hearts were ready, bodies still
Souls were joined in a memory that would be difficult to kill

And then the times changed, and things got carried away
Leaving us in the middle of this hideous sway
From extreme to extreme it was a momentary leap
Smiling through the dentures fixed so cheap

A new false self came into being
Breathing heavily into this relationship we bring
Defenses and excuses now became best friends
Like cheap wine and a shoddy old brothel

The touch and the soul went on a lonely spree
Leaving us alone to some fate and destiny
They say my feelings were momentary, but true
Thank you friends but honestly SCREW YOU

With tears not shed and emotions not dealt
I went about with things depending on how I felt
Tighter and tighter the noose drew around my neck
Finally to this defeat I bent.

We never liked the situation we lived
But didn't do much to better it still
In foolishness the ideas still hold fast
Honey we have lost the race at last

Polsta

With the nothing I had, I gave my all
In the smiles of the needy, I saw my own soul
Their cries of despair, was a burden I couldn't bear
So leaving my grief their problems I shared

So on and on with our lives we went
Not knowing whose sorrow we felt
In the presence of so many, our happiness knew no bounds
And buried our sorrows to the ground

Now everything in life has to come to an end
Yeah we had reached that critical bend
Never learned how to say those goodbyes
Good times – the phrase coined – time flies

The initial withdrawal was sad but to be faced
Tears and sorrows wiped out with a pretty lace
The old feelings jumped back and made themselves home
No ones happiness to follow left us all alone

Places and people couldn't bring that same old joy
The fun and the laughter felt dirty and soiled
The same old fury with the same old dreams
The same old coffee table left unclean

Wisdom and advice a lot can give
But true, pure joy very few can bring
Life's good old rule book everyone breaks
But well the hard pain that follows few can take

Sands Of The Past

Oh the joy of being young
And the foolishness that burns
The desire and the want to run wild
Screams from within unhinging from the child

Love and hate a part of the mixture
A sweet cake of trust and betrayal
The taste savoring and preparing
For the banquet which is soon coming

When the years pass by and
Time seems a distant friend
In memories of the past
Ones deepest laughter lasts

Prayers of why and where – wrongs
The deepness of destitute
Pleasant fond remembrances
In a sad state is lived

The pleasure of roaming without care
And the happiness of rides at the fair
With friends who joke about pairs
And smell the girl next doors sweet hair

Cricketers and actors all want to be
Living a life of self fulfilled dreams
In its due course life's tragedy
Overpowers those wonderful dreams

Education mostly a synonym of wasted time
A job it will get, which gives enough money to dine
Through the shit and pain and heavy boredom
Waste of what was a happier person

Theaters and cafés Become things of the past
Old teens wonder when did those pass out so fast
Gripping sand is a fool's obsession
Crying over spilled milk a wasted profession

The Dream

Last night i awoke with a start,
confused and dazed, engulfed in fear,
scared to bits reduced to tears.
About your death, love and intentions i dreamt,
a secret, a crime, hidden you've kept.

In a room flooded with hues of crimson you led,
parading me through punctured hearts dead.
I saw their anguished feelings lie still,
as i write this down my thoughts they fill.
They warn me about being another 'kill'.

You showed me your deaths and victories posed,
hanging on walls, amidst bouquets of rose.
On coming closer, this my naked eyes see,
those flowers, none roses be.
Just regular blossoms scattered with crimson seas.

I realised then what this dream meant,
T'was from the punctured hearts a warning sent.
I looked around for a way to escape,
figure out how in all this did any sense i make.
was i a victim or victor in the role i played.

And in that dream i saw
you holding on to the rope,
tugging hard, getting choked.
You didnt realize the more you pulled,
the tighter it hung around you.

But when you did realize, it was too late,
your breathing stopped, senses impaired.
Crying out for help, you looked at me,
only to notice the rope you were pulling
was in reality me.

What you didn't realize honey was this
those clues in the rooms i would not miss.
You were leading me on, like the others long gone.
So as i look u in the eyes pleading me for release,
I remember the punctured hearts beckoning me.

Those hearts at once disappear in the distance,
claiming their place in spaces of crimson.
Where regular blossoms, now true roses appeared,
all bowing to the place where your body lay covered.
Then as i said before, i awoke with a start.

The Fourth Sky

Sands of the fourth sky
Falling in a muddled frothy beach aside
Trying to find its place but gets dissolved wit time
Oh what could we do says them
Nothing, we are flowing and we have sunk deep down under
Is there a way out
No she says the tide is high
And we are flowing
Just flowing like thousands who have come and fallen and gone
Is there hope asks he
I dont think so
Not as far as i see
It's just me and the ocean and yes us waiting to be free

The Incident

A shoulder to cry is all that i need,
someone to soothe this heart that bleeds.
Friends are all now far far away,
someone help me heal from this pain.

The mountains of life i can handle,
even life's most tragic loss.
These small things wrap around me
like chains unyielding.

Where is the comfort that i seek this moment,
this loss of me, the feelings incoherent.
Gimme a pill, a remedy certain,
on this aching heart that will close a curtain.

Now these are the times i feel love's loss,
my actions arrogant, my cold hearted response.
But now i know the difference, the fine lines that separate
the brave from the arrogant proud.

This is the way they look at others pain,
their need converting into their own gain.
This is where the line they have crossed,
into the hands of pride, love has now been lost.

The Testament

Stars on a dark starry night,
Look down in pity and
Discuss mankind's plight
Look what they've done
Oh how badly they've messed up
Day in and day out
Day after day
Time and again

Look what they've made of
What God had given them
Oh the beautiful creation
Now weeps and moans
Why did you do it?
Wasn't that once enough
How hurt he was only we know
We have seen
We have felt
But how can u, yes how can u
Not feel it
You were the best
His most prized creation
In you he rejoiced and
In you he kept his pride

Oh how he rejoices
When one of you realises
The mistake of the past
He jumps and dances
He leaps and celebrates
Look there he stands
Watching and waiting
With arms open wide
Run he is there
He was always there
Now it's almost time
The promised time
When the great tribulation begins
And the bad one comes
Run he is still waiting
Run when there is time

There will be weeping and moaning
But not for us
The ones who come to him
Yes welcome to the table
The lord of hosts is here
There is a great banquet
Eat to your hearts delight
There is plenty and more
For 1 to a thousands more
Your wrongdoings are remembered no more
Be carefree and rejoice

He loves you and always did
He loved everyone who ever was
And who ever will
Just come to him and rejoice
The lord of hosts is near

We the stars have witnessed
The joy and happiness of the blessed
Oh blessed r those at the table
Come soon
Come again we say come
The time is now

The Unknown Path

When things belie
The under suspecting path
And even light cannot
Light the irrepressible dark
Yes with pride and honor
Stand i will
And make sure that light by my own
And guide my path I will
Oh that morning rays of hope
Try to blow
Us into the unknown
But yes defend I will
And defend we all
The pride we live in and this same pride in which we fall
For is it not man that rises
When things come in different
Shapes, sizes and poses
Its time to see where the light leads me
Not far and away
But somewhere there where no one knows
It's only me my pride and thought that goes

The Untitled

And I run, yes I run
Trying to catch up with the sun
I ran a long way far
I ran a long way near
I still am running
With all my brilliance and cunning
Have I reached there yet, no
I still have a long, long way to go
Everyday I get up and see
The sun is right there where it should be
But I am lost and as lonely as I can ever be
By the end of the day
I return tired, dismayed and exhausted
I tried so hard and I ran, ran this far
But all in vain absolute vain coz at the end of the day
I had just about caught up with them
But what's the point then
Its night already
The suns set and has gone from sight
I can feel it creeping behind me
Yes right there on my tail
I can feel its rising now, taunting me
Again I fall for the trap
And start running, yes again I run.

Their Mutiny

No second thought,
no lost eyes,
no love to see
no pretty disguise.
Pleading for your mercy,
pleading out your pride,
pleading in the river,
pleading for the lies.
Out goes the sunshine
my mind can see
but whats this feeling
that has come over me.

Not all is lost,
not all is won,
everything comes down,
right back to us,

Never known whats happened,
never known what will,
pace of the ages define
sacraments of rust.
Playing to the roosters
songs of the dead,
hurried sacrifices for magic relief
blankets our unbelief.
Gimme a meaning,
a source to sell,
a heart to convince
a decision unsaid.

Not all is lost,
not all is won,
everything comes down
right back to us,

Prayer of the broken
for the fine,
healing the healed
true karma refined.
Built on shallow faith
a castle filled with hate.
true love betrays,
convince me, does anything stay?
there are lies spoken,
truth covered in barbed wires,
wars fought for leftist unconcerned,
battles won for the freed.
with eyes wide shut i see
how the horns laugh with glee.

Not all is lost,
not all is won,
everything comes down
right back down to us

I watch the rays fade in the distance
feeling the lightless heat engulf me.
In the darkness, figures of hope i see.
Turns out they are here to steal
me of my life, my love and stifle
the flames of vengeance inside.
Still and helpless, i watch them breathe
with fire and lifeless apathy.
Walking away, leaving me to bleed
this is the song i hear them sing,

Not all is lost,
not all is won,
everything comes down
right back down to us

Untitled

Pain of a lifetime, death for a dime
Crying in fear of the emotional slide
Pay for your life, death sleep in a paycheck
Mystery of the tears, unknown by your own peers

Kill the bird or bury the hatchet
Choice is yours, what decision it matches
Chair and the table, both part of a fable
Made of material, which is beautifully stable.

Discount on a sale, at the thrift store
All junk ultimately flows back on the shore
Hidden cupboards on waters stay afloat
Darkest of secrets come forth

In hurried patience treasures he digs
Fills up his empty souls rigs
The hurt of worthlessness, stuck hard at my door
Patiently waiting her grief's to pour

Pebbles and diamonds, stones are they
Hard and shining but they will also fade
What remains is the constant truth of life
Guard it closer than those secrets you hide

Tarab

When i look back at the first day
of floral and brown,
you laughed and snickered
my sight repulsive you found.

We never liked each other for quiet some time,
remember, sour grapes also make fine wine.
Through those times and the better ones
we have been together, rain or sun.

But then like everything else
our attitudes changed,
a bit of probing and sharing
life as best of friends we began

As a sign of trust my card u took,
our first fight in that week place took
not talking nor looking, ignorance grand
finally our friendship won the stand

Your college hunk crush, my stupidity blush
we have been through it all.
Where our friendship will lead us, i dont know
all i know is by your side through it all i will follow

Those two years together
ever since then separated,
distance has made us stronger, Time
made us endure one another longer

We met by fates plan
and now have conquered the firmest of land.
No love or lovers strife endowed
just the best of friendship that God bestowed

Media city with 10 dirhams we went
supposedly to work and conquer,
make a name and tell the world we have arrived
now that dream aint that far, we have truly arrived

From my first adventure
to maybe my last living breath
your help, through all, has me led
even though distance once threatened death

so my friend i raise a toast
non alcoholic, of course
to our dreams, desires and ambitions enormous
to , maybe, just being Best Friends

Tombstones

Maybe we got it all wrong,
started on the wrong side
unknowingly let things slide.

Sometimes i think heaven 
visited me when you came along,
picked me up made me strong.

We spoke about everything
except what we felt
did we misunderstand, Let the others get to us?

I keep asking myself What if?
Maybe we could have pulled it off?
Maybe love wouldn't have taken it all?

Then again we have tried to mend
live through a broken heart and 
funerals of feelings attend.

Dreams of us are now just ghosts,
dusty cobwebs in attics long closed,
memories of us chiseled in Tombstones.

Maybe friendship would have been it,
our lives and smiles would have kept lit.
I still don't know what i felt for you though.

Many ask me what my feelings for you were.
The answer, maybe, just like us
is buried in the past, forever.

To Dream is to Be

Currently I am reading this book – Wild At Heart by John Eldridge. Couple of you guys must have read it. For those who haven’t, get a copy as soon as you can. The book will stir within you a sense for adventure and a sense to get to the core of who you really are.
One of the key things that the book talks about is ‘Dreams’. Drawing from that I am writing this note or whatever you would like to call it.

What surprises me about many people these days is that they lack ‘The Dream’. You cannot blame them for that either. The current scenario that we live in doesn’t allow us to pursue our interests and at the same time be a ‘Family Man’ or the ideal girl. There has been a dynamic shift in our vision and goals that we set for our lives. Nowadays we live for Survival and not for dreams. Right now what one works for is a good job which pays well enough to enjoy two vacations a year, a nice family car, good schooling for the ‘munnas’, etc. there are very few of us that live to pursue a dream. A dream that is yours alone and a dream where your place is forever yours. It’s a tough call but an exciting and an adventurous one. Many will at this point scoff and say, that is all madness and it doesn’t happen now. That is the very reaction that some of us who live our life for that dream have to battle and many do succumb to the numb arrows like those that are aimed at them.

What we are going through right now, as I said earlier is a survival era. Here is where the poser’s part comes in. You see when many of us succumb to the numb arrows and compromise with our dreams; we end up living a life which was not meant for us. We end up even becoming someone else. Maybe you are not that someone else. You are meant to be you and the place you have in your destiny no one can take unless you let go of it. If many of our ‘role models’ had’nt dreamt, they simply wouldn’t be. Imagine this – if Sachin would have given in to his teachers sayings that cricketers don’t go anywhere and education is what will earn you your bread and butter, we wouldn’t have the Greatest Batsman in the World being from Mumbai. If Shah Rukh, Alshay or Aamir wouldn’t have dreamt we wouldn’t have had such fine actors in the world. Steven Spielberg dreamt of making movies ever since he was 8, if he wouldn’t have dreamt then and worked towards achieving that dream we wouldn’t have had half of the modern day classics.

Every person dreams different. Some dreams may be similar but not everyone dreams alike. And as I mentioned earlier, every dream has only one hero. The moment you deem it as impossible and unreachable without trying to work or live that dream you are letting go a part of yourself. I met a man in his fifties the other day, he looked with deep longing at a guitar lying next to him and told me about how he always wanted to be Hendrix or page but couldn’t because he thought it better to play it safe by joining a shipping company as an accountant. The longing in his eyes said it all. What if? That was his biggest battle. Times when he sits alone he asks him self, what if I had chosen the guitar over the numbers? 

To give up a dream is to give up a big part of you are and replace it with a self you either are or your not. It’s usually the latter. Then starts a circle of living a life, which we trudge along with dissatisfaction and the eternal What If’s? Sometimes taking the plunge into the unknown is the only option and often the more exciting one. The others even though more safe and monetarily satisfying wont give you the same thrill as what the fulfillment of your dream will give you. That is an experience in itself.

Why am I bringing this up now? Well its simple actually – 1) Personal Conviction and 2) I want to see a renewed youth and a world where the generations to come won’t be afraid of dreaming. A couple of days back my close friend Aditya and I were sitting and discussing our Golden Globe speech and another close friend came by and told u don’t dream such big things. Adi nonchalantly replied, dreams are the place where you define whether you will be or you wont. And why compromise while dreaming. Dreaming alone is not enough but we have gotta work towards living that dream or making it come to pass. Whats a dream if its not one to be? 

You see ever since I was a kid I always wanted to be a cricketer, but it’s a fact in Mumbai, most kids want to become Sachin Tendulkar. But circumstances and lack of encouragement thereof made me look in a complete different direction. Then I wanted to be a Chef but then once again due to a series of events that dream got crushed too. Finally after a lot of deliberation I chose to be in the Media field with the single focused dream of being an actor and a director one day. For that too i had to fight to get my way, you see by then I had made a decision not to give up no matter the pressure. And I am happy I did so. The field of Media gave me opportunities and breakthroughs that I had only Dreamt of. Now my dreams have become more ‘cinemascopish’ rather than the handicam quality types. Even though some dreams have been fulfilled faster that doesn’t mean it stops at that, it only means I start dreaming and aspiring new things and new heights and places. 

The question then arises. What if we fail? Then I would say try again. If you believe your dream, you don’t need it to come through, you will make it come through. Dreaming alone doesn’t help, as I said before. You need to work towards building and making your dream a reality. Sometimes we dream but don’t have the qualification or the gifting to, we need to be aware of these things and go about in enhancing our talents and gifting in that particular area. And if we still fail, then maybe we gotta pack bags and settle for the next best option. But then again you wont be like the 50 year old guy I met who lived in What if’s? at least you know you pursued it to the best of your abilities.

Never stop dreaming. Dreams motivate you and charge you up to reach higher and push yourself to the maximum. Imagine the satisfaction Tendulkar must have felt when he reached the 10000 run mark or every time he scores a century. I want to feel that feeling. When I am old I want to look back at my life and say yes I lived my Dream. I Dreamt and so am I.

To Whomsoever It May concern

Heeding your instructions
I set out to build a house 
Secure and acceptable.
Against my reason and 
Along your experience 
With labour and love
Pain and all I had 
To your suggestions I gave in
When the hardwork was done
And my labour of love 
To you I showed
With four words of supposed guidance
Of a better future and
A better character
Like a pack of cards my house you blew
The fresh paint you smeared 
With your rebukes and 
Foggy interpretations.
The beauty not appreciating
One window missing you saw.
My house so lovely 
So carefully made
For you to please, for you to lay
My weakness explored 
My strengths left flaying
Left alone in the wind
You went where you truly belonged
Leaving me in ruins
And tears and sorrow all I bore
Till one day the good lord
Came to me and showed
Not to you or for you
Have I ever to live
But my life is for me to make
And build
So my own house dear d I will now make
With my true being in it instilled
Your welcome to see and admire 
What I have build
Your rebukes
Leave to the passing wind

Mosquitoes

Mosquitoes – the first time I wrote the word I spelt it with two ‘T’s’. Its funny how this insignificant barely noticeable but highly stingable insect has become the subject of my highly esteemed blog which has been read by only three people so far, no sorry four that is including me.

Let me start off by saying I Hate Mosquitoes just as much I hate having the flu or eating boiled French Beans and burns on my backside after acidic meals. I loathe the very thought of mosquitoes for the sheer reason because of my eight hours of sleep, these less than half a centimeter insects ruin my eight hours of necessary sleep and make it a mere four hours, as a result of which I sleep during the day and miss out on a lot of good things I had rather be doing than sleeping to catch up my medically certified required sleep.

Let me tell you about my experiences with these ferocious insects. Their one bite wakes me from the best dream I may be having in days, a dream that consists of good food, pretty maidens some good rock music and me acting lead in a James Bond movie right at the part where i say “shaken not stir….”

I thought I had come to a place in my life where I could say I am immune to those little *peep* mosquitoes when they started biting with renewed vigor once again. This time they bit in the same places again and again. I wonder how much blood these fellows actually drink at one time. I mean common they bite forever and suck forever; do they have a Cameron Diaz Metabolism?

My three years in Dubai were the most peaceful as not one mosquito was ever seen in that place. The funny part about the mosquitoes at my place is that I kill literally about fifteen of them with the electric mosquito killing bat.

With the bat in my hand, I fancy myself to be a warrior set on a mission to destroy all the mosquitoes in the world and bring vengeance to the fallen species of mankind. Well I kill about twenty of them every night but the surprising thing is by three in the morning another battalion of mosquito attackers have made their way to parts of my body which I can’t specify in this blog for reasons you must be knowing. So I start killing them once again, this time I am more ferocious than Gengis in his epic battle. I swing my bat and watch them fry, fry to a painful death. The sickening stench of their burning bodies brings a smile to my face and I know that the entire world is looking up to me to clear the scum from the face of the earth. After half an hour another fifteen start biting me all over.

So clearly the bat was not working out for me since every mosquito I didn’t kill went back and called back his other friends to feast on my deliciously filled body.

Next I started using the mosquito coils, I nearly choked to death because of the fumes. My eyes watering and my nose wanting to cut itself away from my body and commit suicide, I bear the pain. I sleep peacefully for two nights. On the third day the mosquito coil is rendered useless, these fellows start biting again. So now I don’t only have to bear my watering eyes, suicidal nose but also the nasty stings these little fellows give me. 

According to my observations I think that mosquitoes have their own little world where they r given steroid shots to gain immunity to our mosquito mats, coils and liquids. The doctors labour day in and day out to find out solutions to our weapons of mosquito destruction and then inject them with those medicines and send them to collect blood form us out of which I think they are making a super mosquito that will wipe out the entire human race and conquer the world and rule over it.

But little do those tiny chaps know, I am going to foil these plans of theirs, I have come up with my own special recipe to kill mosquitoes. Its made out of human gas, yes the same gas you are thinking about. My weapon shall be read by early next year and I shall give the weapons to people who have been tormented by these insects and those who want to join me in the war for world peace. To those who want to join my underground movement of liberating the world of mosquitoes let me warn you that the fight is tough and some of us may lose our lives in the process, but this has to be done. its for us, our future, our future’s future.

I dream of a world where we can sleep in peace, we can sleep without fear of being stung by an insect. A world where we can sleep without our shirts and not be worried of how many mosquitoes may bite us. I dream of a world where mosquitoes are extinct. I dream of a world at peace while sleeping only in their underwear.

 

Delhi Blasts

firstly its pathetic that we, human beings have come down to a level where we cant sort things out by peacefully talking to one another and amicabilly sorting out differences. in my generations lingo, IT SUCKS. i guess the future holds guns and bombs on a day to day basis to resolve marital probelms or fights with neighbors. 

we all can invariably, as said by all news outlets, stand as one and say, yeah this should not happen and its disgusting and insensitive but truth be spoken to what extent does this affect us? do we really feel something deep down for the victims, for the people related to the victims. when we see the NSG and the bomb squad close to the live bombs doing their best to diffuse them, what are we thinking? are we waiting for the sensational or are we saying a prayer for their protection.

we are so exposed to terrorism and loss of lives at regular intervals that we have in a way vaccinated ourself from feeling for people. why?

a friend of mine whom i was telling about the Delhi bomb blasts made this comment, "oh, only twenty people died?". i sent her an IM with "?" and she replied saying, "Well Errol i have become so used to listening to 200 and 500 people dying that 20 seems like hardly anything."

i didnt reply to the IM. what would i tell her anyways?

have we lost the concept and value of life? do we measure life by 'how many' rather than'who'? can only news of a thousand people dying and another five thousand living like semi hacked vegetables for the rest of their lives make people feel for others? is that what we "God's most acomplished masterpiece" have come down to? a level which is actually is a marsh land of sinking sand made up of our modernistic values and outlook so tainted by the 'me' concept that we fail to see our very own next door neighbor struggling.

with the happenings of Orissa and now delhi its time we try and find that heart of ours and just for a brief moment focus it all on the cryings of mankind thorughout our country itself. i am not a social, PETA, WWE or watever activist. i am a normal human being who feels because as rightly said one day someone whom i dearly love may be there dying or even dead and at that time i would want my fellow indians to stand with me and just for a moment understand my pain and in that moment make it their own.

i guess the terrorists too have found out about this laid back mentality of ours, they must be thinking "oh well lets develop bigger bombs now, people dont care about one or two they want hundreds to be rattled" and that is what is happening. they are now making advanced bombs - bombs with more power, difficult to diffuse. 

we in a way are responsible for bringing things to this state. i am not condemning everyone for i too am guilty of, at times having the 'so what' attitude. i mean well as long as its not me its cool right? but well today was different, i felt the pain once again and i appeal to you as a friend take time off and think about these victims and say a small prayer for them, God listens at all times, that little miracle they witness of their life coming thorugh may be the result of your prayer.

thanks for bearing with my outburst.